It has happened: The much anticipated (?) return of The Vampire Diaries to our televisions. This may be called the Spring Break edition recap.

So, Twilight, man. What’s up with that? Here comes the most embarrassing confession I will ever make in this column: I went to see New Moon this weekend. Yes, opening weekend.

It’s not (quite) as bad as it sounds. It was a sociological experiment, of sorts. I went to observe me some tweens, and to see what this sexy glittering vampire business was all about. Also, for the lulz.

Only here’s the thing. The audience? It wasn’t all tweens. There were some grown ass people there, unabashedly wearing “Team Edward” shirts and shushing gigglers (me) like it was their job.

Ask yourself: Was I one of the fawning multitudes that rushed to a theater last Thursday before midnight to see The Twilight Saga: New Moon? If the answer is yes, slap yourself audibly.

Second question: Was I surprised at all that the movie sucked? If the answer is yes, you’re probably one of those people who gets surprised when it gets dark at night. (Alaskan natives are the only ones excused.)

So, in light of the new Twilight movie, which I know we are all just dying, just bursting at the seams to go see, I thought I’d make a little proposal to the folks at the New Student Reading Project: Why not put a classy piece of literature like Stephanie Meyer’s Twilight series as your freshman reading project book?

You see, I got stuck reading Lincoln at Gettysburg, which if you haven’t read it, can be summarized as a 200-page crap sandwich.

Yesterday The Washington Post printed the last edition of its eminent Book World, the weekly insert that stood as one of the country’s best book reviews. The story is what we’ve come to expect from print media today: plummeting subscription, faltering ad revenue, disappearing profits. Considered alongside the recent deaths of the Los Angeles Times’ and Chicago Tribune’s print book reviews, this seems to be the death knell for the form.

In the film Twilight, during an especially intense scene, Edward Cullen (Robert Pattinson) tells the girl he loves, Bella Swan (Kristen Stewart), “You’re like a drug … like my own personal brand of heroin.” For many fans under the age of 20, his words could just as easily describe Twilight itself. The film’s emotional grip (not to mention Edward Cullen’s dreamy good looks) makes it impossible not to experience at least one instance of increased heart rate.

Hello, darling readers and newbies:

Once upon a time, I had a column. Then, during the 6-week-long, Daily Sun hell known as editorial compet, I took a really long break. Now I’m back. Didn’t-cha just miss me?

For those of you who haven’t experienced the pain/plea-sure/antipathy that is my column, allow me to re-introduce myself: I’m Julie. I’m that annoying white girl with the curly hair, blasting Three 6 Mafia and Kate Nash from my car while the rest of you cool souls are probably walking along to Nas, Talib and (I hope to God not) Katy Perry.