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Op-Ed

A Last Look

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Heroes & Villains

May 4, 2006 - 7:00pm
By Archives

So long, farewell, we'll even say goodbye. That's right, this is our last issue of this semester. Tomorrow is Slope Day, which means that this installment of Heroes and Villains will be used for little more than mopping up puke. But no matter, we give our opinion for free, anyway. So without further adieu, a VILLAINOUSLY-HEROIC year in review.

It started with the resignation of former President Jeffery S. Lehman '77, an event still shrouded in VILLAINOUS mystery. President Rawlings HEROICALLY took the reins. Just after Rawlings stepped up, HEROICALLY passionate (but VILLAINOUSLY misguided) student environmentalists perched themselves in trees to prevent the construction of a VILLAINOUS parking lot on the site of Redbud Woods. The Redbuddies jumped out of the bulldozer's path just in time to sign an agreement with the University to back down, and just a short 45+ weeks later, the conditions were HEROICALLY met.

Meanwhile, President Rawlings decided to use his lame duck positioning to stir up some trouble. Rawlings HEROICALLY devoted his State of the University address to berating the VILLAINOUS teaching of Intelligent Design in science classes (controversial, but what is the Board of Trustees going to do? Fire him?). Rawlings and President Bush can duke it out, but so far the Supreme Court has been HEROICALLY siding with Rawlings.

In January, the University named a HEROIC new president. Doctor David J. Skorton will HEROICALLY start his term in July as Cornell's third president in four years; let's hope he lasts.

A HEROIC plan to revamp the campus over the next 25 years was announced this year … if everything old is new again, will Uris Hall be back in style then?

A VILLAINOUS stabbing befell West Campus in February. VILLAINOUS Nathan Poffenbarger '08 was indicted this week on four counts of assault as a hate crime in relation to the stabbing of Charles Holiday, a visiting Union College senior. The backlash is still hitting the Big Red.

And the Grim Reaper hit The Hill on Spring Break this year, VILLAINOUSLY claiming the life of Matthew Pearlstone '09.

Cornell's applicant pool continued to HEROICALLY rise this year, while we were ranked a HEROIC ninth on the list of top dream schools for parents and students alike by The Princeton Review. We sometimes wonder where these people are getting their information …

The HEROIC Image Committee (ironically) may have actually dectracted from Cornell's image in a piece about their organization that ran in The New York Times last month. For the record, we here at H&V are not of the belief that our value as people is contingent upon Cornell's ranking in U.S. News & World Report.

Visiting guest professor John Cleese's HEROIC term has VILLAINOUSLY come to an end this year, but we hope to still seem him wandering the gorges from time to time.

No year would be complete without the Student Assembly endowing to itself powers that many working for the national government don't have. The S.A. VILLAINOUSLY tried to weigh in on foreign policy this week, with a resolution against nuclear proliferation.

All this to report in the HEROIC 125th and 126th year anniversaries of The Sun. With that, The Sun will now set for a few months. Have a great summer.

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