Roses are red; violets are blue. Sixty percent of Cornellians marry one another. This Valentine’s Day, I wondered, is that rumor really true? A sizeable percentage of Cornellians meet their future spouses on campus. For Jessica Shaw ’99 and her fiancé Joel Roha ’99, “Our relationship struck up senior year at a Zinck’s Night sponsored by the Class of 1999 to celebrate 99days before graduation. Eight years later to the month we began dating, he proposed to me,” she shared. More recently, Matt O'Connor ’06 and Summer Peck ’07 were engaged. They were set up by Summer's sorority sisters for a formal dance, and the rest is history.

Significant forces propel these and other Cornell couples together — attraction, common interests, and shared values. Of course, the nearness in proximity, or propinquity, certainly helped. Bumping into a cool guy in the dining hall often enough is bound to lead towards an eventual date, right? But, wait … did we actually date in college? Do “watch a movie in my room” or “meet at that party” count as the formal invitations of our parents’ generation? You can blame it on the studying not leaving us any time to make plans in advance or the desire to just hook up on the dance floor, but dating in college is more of an anomaly than a frequent occurrence.

To be fair, amidst this environment, we adapted. We dated by going ice skating in Lynah Rink or meeting for Bubble Tea. Sometimes, those dates evolved into boyfriends who I saw around campus everyday. As our relationships developed, I grew to know them within a world of shared social lives, student organizations and academic deadlines. Of course, when we broke up, I wished the campus were bigger so that I wouldn’t bump into them so often.

While some of us stay in relationships that began on campus, maintaining them can be challenging. After Cornell, our paths take us in directions where we are no longer a five-minute walk from our significant other. Long distance can make the heart grow fonder, or it can do just the opposite. Once one person feels the other isn’t trying, love fades quickly. Sometimes, it can be hard to let go, but in the end, moving forward makes you happier. Even when a couple moves to the same city, jobs put new pressure on our love lives.

After college, whether one is suddenly single or still searching, how has dating changed, for better or for worse?

Seemingly, there should be more potential suitors who act in very grown up ways. In New York City, where there are thousands of young people, the numbers can work for or against us. However, we are no longer surrounded, solely by young people. When our schedules are free, there are no large campus celebrations where we can meet people in a fun environment, let alone the weekend party hopping options in C-Town. And sometimes, when you meet someone, despite the grown-up dating places, such as the Museum of Modern Art or tapas restaurants, often invitations come late as text messages. Apparently, calling takes more effort than spelling out full sentences from the tiny keys on your cell phone.

However, for now, forget the “for worse,” and consider the “for better,” because I assure you there is a whole new world of dating after college. The settings for meeting future dates are numerous, with infinite young professional events. Often, 20-something's groups spring up within volunteer organizations, political parties and religious groups. By attending these events, you already share a common interest with the other participants, which leads to interesting conversations.

Lately, there seems to be a rise in athletic 20-year-olds who participate in intramural sports. What better way than to literally “hit on” someone at dodgeball after work? The founder of New York’s ZogSports young professionals’ league initially organized games to meet a nice girl. He is now married to a player from his team. While it is often the post-game happy hours that lead to introductions, getting fit while meeting new people isn’t a bad way to spend a night. The most amusing line from my opponent who offered to buy me a drink last week — “Sorry I kept aiming for you out there tonight, grey pants. Let’s start over. My name is Mike. What’s yours?"

Your friends who play on your team can also introduce you to potential suitors, sometimes on purpose and other times unintentionally. More than a few of my friends have gone on blind dates orchestrated by mutual acquaintances. And at friends’ parties or dinners where where teh same old crowd is expected, I have been pleasantly surprised by intriguing new faces. If you would rather not place your love fate in the hands of friends, you could pursue just the opposite — online dating. A close friend has been in a relationship for over a year, which began on JDate. Yet another has been scared away from the unusual men she met online.

Returning to the familiar, Cornell can draw us together even after we graduate, creating a propinquity effect among young alumni. At happy hours, you might recognize someone who you always saw on campus, but only admired from a distance. Even a few years out, sparks fly between alumni who never met on campus. Susie Curtis ’91 met Eric Schneider ’91 at their fifth reunion happy hour on the Arts Quad. They have been married for almost nine years.

While searching for a special someone, keep in mind that often when you least expect it, you may meet the right match. Finding that person is a lot like trying to check out TakeNote in the library the night before an exam — you might have to wait or devise creative ways to find a copy, but it’s worth it.

This Valentine’s week, here is my wish for all of you. Roses are red. Violets are blue. According to Uncle Ezra, only 6 percent of Cornellians say “I do.” Don’t give up looking for your Cornell mate, but alumni from Columbia, NYU and Princeton are also pretty great!