Alien Ambition

          Athletic Girl (doing pushups): This would be so easy if I was in Avatar!

          — Barton Hall

Didn’t Quite SEAL the Deal

          Trivia Announcer Guy: What is the fastest marine mammal?

          Contestant: Is it "barracuda"?

          — Ruloff’s (Sunday Night Trivia)

Bird is the Word

          Frustrated Egyptology Student: There’s a random bird hanging out in the middle of the sentence and I have no idea what it’s doing. 

          — Collegetown

The Game’s Afoot

          Competitive Chick: Whoever hooks up with him gets a peanut butter brownie from Manndible, and that is fucking worth it.

          — Eddy Street

Don’t Tell Her to Roll Over, Either

          Knowledgeable Girl: I don’t think you get a girl by petting her like a dog.

          — Dryden Road

Holding Yourself In High Esteem

          Classy Co-ed: Like, I’m in ILR … don’t tell me about being retarded.

          — Drunk Bus to North