The Sun Elects its 128th Editorial Board

See those dashing lads and lasses huddled together in that picture over there? Those are the members of The Sun’s 128th Editorial Board. Those are the people who will sacrifice sleep and grades and live television for the next year, all so they can provide you with a suduko to do during class each and every day.

They are a cocky bunch (they actually think they can succeed as the newspaper industry shrivels before them — so narcissistic). They are a manly group (the gents outnumber the ladies, yet somehow there’s not a beard in the bunch). But most of all they are a dedicated bunch, hell-bent on preserving the sterling legacy they inherit and dead-set on continuing to make The Sun the best daily there ever was (or at least the oldest continuously independent college daily there ever was).

The glorious leader of the 128th is Editor in Chief Keenan Weatherford ’11. This laid back Cali-kid possesses a keen awareness of the ins-and-outs of editor in chiefing. [3]128 rhymes with great: The Sun elected its 128th Editorial Board on Saturday. They’ll try to make the next caption better than this one. - By: Venus Wu It is unclear how his mental encyclopedia of Harry Potter characters will affect his leadership, but it certainly can’t hurt.

Managing Editor Michael Stratford ’11, perhaps most famous for his ongoing attempt to break the world record for most consecutive hours awake without sleeping, will oversee the news department. Stratford plans to spend his days and nights digging through the dumpster behind Day Hall for top secret memos that President Skorton somehow fails to shred. We’ll see how this persistence pays off.

Business Manager Justin Wheeler ’11 apparently has a grand plan to save the entire newspaper industry. The details of this plan have yet to emerge, but the problem with the newspaper industry can’t be that bad, right?

James Elkins ’11, the web editor, will use his intimate understanding of the inter-webs to make our website the most-navigable in the Ivy League. He majors in sitting behind his laptop with a serious look on his face, which will come in handy.

Associate Editor Tony Manfred ’11, or as he’s better known, “that columnist I don’t like,” will man the helm of the opinion section each night. As A.E., his lone goal is to make readers in Libe Cafe read not one but two sentences of a column before they start the crossword puzzle.

Sports Editor Alex Kuczynski-Brown ’12 hails from the “Illadelph,” and hopes to greater increase the amount of polo coverage in the sports section. Turns out the great thinking man’s game of swatting a ball with a giant stick while riding a horse hasn’t got the respect it deserves here on the Hill.

Rahul Kishore ’12 will be the first to serve as web managing editor — a new editorship this year. Some have referred to this new position as meaningless, made-up, stupid and created out of pity for Rahul. But he plans to make the job his own.

Photo Editor Lindsay Myron ’11 loves photos so much that she wants to see The Sun’s entire front page become entirely text free. “Words? Is this 1770? You people are idiots,” the testy Myron stated in an e-mail.

Design Editor Irene Leung ’11 is the only member of the 128th to have completed a backflip, although Stratford claims he did one in high school once. She’s also a woman of many talents: she has a collection in both the Cornell Design League’s Fashion Show and the Cornell Baking League’s Baking Show.

Freshmen Peter Jacobs ’13 and Ruby Perlmutter ’13, will run the arts and entertainment section. Even though they can’t get into rated-R movies without an adult, they plan to increase the amount of movie reviews in the section. No word on when Up 2 is coming out, but they’ll be there when it does.

Brendan Doyle ’12, Ben Gitlin ’12, Michael Linhorst ’12 and Dani Neuharth-Keusch ’12 are the news editors. As the only woman in the bunch, Dani will do the cooking, cleaning and the lion’s share of the laundry, in addition to her responsibilities as news editor. Luckily she has energy to spare, and has even considered using this excess energy to power her apartment. Linhorst comes from Syracuse, which is why he refers to Ithaca as, “tropical.” Gitlin and Doyle consider themselves “partners in crime,” and plan to make it official by burglarizing a number of Ithaca homes this weekend.

Red Letter Daze Editor Keri Blakinger ’11 plans to make Daze the paper’s best weekly magazine insert. She can be found in all corners of campus listening to the musical stylings of Ke$ha, softly singing, “Gonna smack him if he gets too drunk, drunk.”

Working under Blakinger will be Assisstant Daze Editor Allie Miller ’11. She previously wrote for the newspaper at NYU — a job that apparently gave her the opportunity to interview Matthew McConaughey. Similarly, she’ll interview former Sun Associate Editor Sammy Perlmutter next week, which is just as cool.

Reena Gilani ’13, AJ Ortiz ’13 and Evan Rich ’13 are the assistant sports editors. Gilani and Ortiz have both extensively covered Cornell sports, while Rich once asked, “So are we red or green?” at a Cornell-Dartmouth hockey game.

A.D. Muscente ’12, the science editor, is uniquely qualified for the position because he got an “S+” in third grade science. When asked if he ever made on of those volcano things for a science fair he said, “No. Those are for girls.”

Alyssa Tsuchiya ’12 and Joonsuk Lee ’12 are the associate design editors. Tsuchiya pays exceptional attention to detail, and perhaps has the most raw talent that The Sun has ever seen out of designer. On the other hand Lee forgot which day Sun elections were on, and almost managed to complete the nearly-impossible task of sleeping through an eight-hour election. “I don’t know whether to laugh or slap him in the face,” said Design Editor Irene Leung.

Advertising Manager Sophia Qasir ’11 learned all she knows about advertising by watching Mad Men. No word on whether or not she also drinks martinis at lunch, smokes three packs a day or routinely cheats on her wife.

Assistant Advertising Manager Helene Beauchemin ’13, plans on luring French-Canadian advertisers to The Sun with her mastery of the French language and her newly-formed love for all things Canada after watching the Olympics in between classes.

Philip Nachbar ’11, the online advertising manager, hails from Minnesota. You might be thinking, “How’s the online ad manager going to come from a state that just got the Internet last year?” But we have faith.

Marketing Manager Katerina Daveynis ’12 loves walnuts so much that she calls Walnut Creek, Calif. her hometown.

Coordinator of Brand Management Aaron Sage ’13 is the great-great grandson of Johnny Sage Jr., the man who donated both Sage Hall and Sage Chapel to Cornell. We’ll see if these strong genes translate to strong coordination of brand management.

Coordinator of New Business Ventures Chloe Gatta ’12 plans on making sure The Sun carefully ventures into new areas of business. This is vastly important considering the fact that the Coordinator of New Business Ventures on the 123rd Editorial Board almost killed The Sun by letting it venture all over the place with little-to-no supervision.

Coordinator of Online Client Management Stephanie Jaw ’12 is not only perfectly suited for this job, but her name alone will scare off bullies that try to pick on The Sun.

Here’s to a great year!